EVEN WITHIN A FAMILY, CHILDREN HAVE VERY DIFFERENT TEMPERAMENTS
COLUMBUS, Ohio -- According to the laws of heredity, there are at least 64 trillion possible individuals that could be produced by a mother and father.
So parents shouldnt be surprised when their second childs personality is nothing like their first childs.
The fact there is much in the way of resemblance from one sibling to the next is, in some ways, quite remarkable, given the genetic possibilities, said Philip Newman, a senior researcher at Ohio State University.
Thats why parents need to be aware of and accepting of the different temperaments that their children may have, he said.
Philip Newman and Barbara Newman, a professor of family relations and human development at Ohio State, are authors of Childhood and Adolescence (Brooks/Cole, 1996) a new college textbook about child development from conception through about age 18.
One of the subjects discussed by the authors -- who are
married and have three children -- is temperament and the affect it can have on the development of children.
Temperament is very real. Researchers have found that children are born with dispositions in certain areas -- they may tend to be shy, or irritable or very sociable, said Barbara Newman. That doesnt mean there is a blueprint for how a child is going to turn out. But temperament will shape how children respond to their environment.
The challenge for parents is to recognize these different temperaments in their children and respond appropriately. Parenting techniques that worked with one child may not work with another, according to the Newmans.
One example is discipline. A child who tends to be withdrawn and introspective may only need a small reminder when he or she is doing something wrong. Being too harsh with a child like this may actually produce more fearfulness and withdrawal. It would be counter-productive, Barbara Newman said.
On the other hand, children who are very active and rambunctious may need a more forceful discipline strategy to gain their attention. Parents may need to be more assertive in setting limits and more commanding in the tone of voice they use with these children.
Parents shouldnt worry that certain kinds of children cant be happy and successful because of the type of personality that they have.
Temperament might affect what the most successful parenting strategies should be, but, for instance, irritable babies clearly can form secure attachments with others, Barbara Newman said.
It just means that if you have an irritable baby it may be more demanding to discover the pattern of responses that are most effective.
Both parents and, later, teachers, need to be aware of how the fit or lack of fit between the childs temperament and the demands of the environment influence a childs behavior.
For example, a child who is very active can have very different experiences in kindergarten depending on the environment created by the teacher. If the teacher encourages active participation, group conversation, and varied activities, the active child will flourish. But if the teacher encourages quiet listening, requires a strict schedule, and expects children to sit in one place for long periods, the active child may be frustrated and highly stressed.
In one classroom the active child might be seen as a natural leader, and in the other a troublemaker, said Philip Newman.
One of the challenges of any classroom or family setting is to provide the flexibility to let children whose temperaments differ to all feel at home.
The main message for parents is to be accepting of the differences of their children, rather than try to shape each child into a particular mold, according to the Newmans.
Theres no best kind of child or one best way to raise a child, Barbara Newman said.
Theres a lot of different kinds of children and they can all be best if you provide the responsiveness and sensitivity they require. There is a range of differences that can lead to unique and happy individuals.
Contact: Barbara Newman, (614) 488-5415; Newman.13@osu.edu
Philip Newman, (614) 488-5415; Newman.2@osu.edu
Written by Jeff Grabmeier, (614) 292-8457; Grabmeier.1@osu.edu